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usmc123

I Just LoL'd...

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Coworker: My phone's lost all functionality. I mean, it still works, but...

Tourist: Which way to the famous deli?

Cop: Which one?

Tourist: You know, the famous one.

Guy #1: Hi, I'm Bryan.

Guy #2: I'm Brian too!

Guy #1: I'm Bryan with a Y.

Guy #2: I'm Brian with a B.

www.overheardinnewyork.com

I love that website :P

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Lol

Girl #1: Did you hear about that thing in Africa?

Girl #2: What thing?

Girl #1: About how there aren't enough female elephants, so the males started raping rhinos.

Girl #2: Wow, I knew Africa was fucked up, but even the animals go around raping and stuff. What a messed up country!

--Wagner College

Woman #1: Hey Maria, how's your mother doing?

Woman #2: He's all right. He's recovering from his operation.

Woman #1: She had to have an operation? I thought she just sprained her ankle!

Woman #2: Oh, that? That was nothing. I'm talking about the operation he had last week.

Woman #1: He?

Woman #2: Yes.

--Coney Island

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/8589532.stm

You would think they would some surveillance before charging in, then to say sorry they gave them beer. :lach:

Can i give them my home number?

i would like free beer,...they can keep the flowers :cheers-mate:

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Dja hear about the new French tank? One gear forward, four in reverse.

On eBay: French rifle - never fired, dropped once.

An Englishman, a Welshman, and a Frenchman are walking on a beach. They come across a lamp and a genie appears. "I will grant each of you one wish." The Welshman said, "I wish Wales would have fertile and productive soil forever." *Poof* and Wales had fertile soil forever. The Frenchman goes next; "I wish there were a huge wall around France so nothing can ever harm my precious country." *Poof* and there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asked, "This wall, describe it." The genie replies, "Oh, it's about 140 feet tall, 80 feet thick, and nothing can get in or out. Why?" *Nods* "Fill it up with water." :)

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Classmate [on the subject of disruptive kids]: "Have you got a whip to keep them under control?

Teacher: "Oh yes, and the leathers to go with it" *laughs*

Our history teacher folks, She's close to retiring too, so that should give you an idea of her age

Also, once she was going to show us a video, but it was at the wrong place. She stopped the VCR to rewind it and on the channel was a show testing mens underwear. So here were several men in nothing but boxers jumping up and down on trampolines to test them (you can figure out what they were testing for). Anyway, the teacher was shocked by such thing on the tv and tried to cover it with her hands. It looked so wrong, especially when the camera did a close up of the boxers. :lach:

Good times...

Is he saving the world? No.

Don't be stupid, that isn't his job, it's Gordon Brown's job :rolleyes:

(it's early in, so don't skip :dry:)

Oh god... our government... :nein:

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